Why I’ll Never Be a Hipster

Do you ever feel like you have something to say, but you have no idea what it is? Or maybe you do, but you don’t want anyone to know?

I do. Actually, I think I have my whole life, but I am particularly becoming aware of it this week.

But it’s silly, right? The Internet has exploded because everyone somewhere has something to say, whether it’s on Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and blogs doing what I call the “Starbucks” — there seems to be one on every corner.

With all of these outlets for speech at our fingertips, how could we possibly feel like we’re not being heard or that if we said what we wanted to say, it would be ridiculed?

I mean, look at that person. They just came right out and said it. Now they’re a meme. Why can’t I be more like that person with the added bonus of correct English?

Here’s my problem:

I’d like to think that I’m unique. That I stand out amongst people my age as far as my interests go. That maybe I’m a starter of new currents to flow into, rather than a coaster.

I would like to be a hipster. There it is!

It would be great if I could take artsy photographs that inspire people or listen to bands no one has ever heard of or not care about what people think of me or to understand politics and actually have an opinion about it.

But I like too much stuff. And it’s not always the greatest stuff either. Or, at least, according to our world, it isn’t. However, I’d like to think that they don’t get to decide what I like, so I feel a confession time approaching.

#1: I just realized who Joe Biden is yesterday. And I still don’t really care.

“Well, fine then. I don’t like you either.”

#2: I like every single Taylor Swift song I’ve ever heard. Yes, even that “Never Ever Ever” one.
Oh, and…that Justin Beiber song “As Long As You Love Me” , mmm-hmm. Lurve it.
Although she might rock this look better…maybe.

#3: I made an account for Instagram yesterday and Youtube this morning. Just in case you weren’t feeling exposed enough to my life.
Just like that, only more jolly.

#4: I have arguments with myself in my head. For example…

Carly #1: Maybe I should start taking a shower every day. Nahh, too much work. And more expensive.
Carly #2: Ending up in the hospital with a kidney infection is also a lot of work. (But not more expensive. Canadian Healthcare, WHAT UPPPP? *mental high five*)
Carly #1: Well, a LOT of people don’t take a shower every single day. I mean, look at the 1500s – most people were lucky if they got a bath once a year and they survived!
Carly #2: Yeah, that Bubonic Plague wasn’t too bad. Your call.

Literally in the space of 15 seconds. And the jury is still out.

#5: The other day, I made blueberry muffins and chicken corn chowder from scratch. I felt so fulfilled, I almost cried.
Yes, yes they do.

#6: I have watched 3 seasons of Dexter and loved. every. minute. What is wrong with me?
Maybe not wildly excited, but certainly intrigued.

#7: I read People magazine. But only when it’s like, “Oh, I guess I have to cause I’m waiting at the dentist or the doctor’s or whatever.” But seriously, if there’s a pile of mags to choose from and they include something intelligent like Time etc., I will choose People every time. And laugh.
Also, I started reading Anna Karenina last year and never finished it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good, but boy do you need to portion that puppy out!
Duuuuude. Totally.

#8: I shop at Wal-Mart without guilt or shame. The only cause I have ever fought for is to own a diamond ring that has only Canadian diamonds in it for sure; I couldn’t bear the thought of my decadence costing someone in Africa their arm.
But now that THAT mission is complete, I am free to love cheap household items and 2 liter bottles of Pepsi for $1 !
How could you say no to Wal-Mart kitty?

#9: Every time I go to the dentist, I lie.
“Have you been flossing?”
“Totally, probably like every other day.”
“Cause your teeth have a lot of plaque build-up.”
“Really, that is so strange…”

#10: I’m sure there are many more things I could confess, but my first Youtube video is about to finish uploading and I gotta go.

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