It’s true. I love gay people. God made me do it.

Okay. I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this.

*deep breath*

Okay. Yes. I’m gonna do it.

I’m gonna talk about the big G word.

Remember when it used to mean “happy”? Or was attached to the name of a flower, such as the nosegay?

My, the times have changed. It’s all been causing me to think. And honestly, it’s driving me crazy, so I need to talk about it. Just for a minute. If that’s cool with you.

I was raised to believe that homosexuals were a special kind of dirty evil. That they carried diseases. (More than heterosexuals that have crazy monkey sex [gasp!] do? Yes, of course.) To be avoided but prayed for with utmost reverence, and thank God you weren’t like “them.” You were “safe.”

I’m here to tell you that I have rarely ever felt truly safe in my life. And I’m a woman who married a man. AND we don’t steal or cheat or murder or lie or park in the spots specifically for people with babies when we have no babies.

Avoiding people who are not like me has never brought me safety. Only a sense of entitlement and confusion that I don’t deserve.

So now, I am Facebook friends with at least 6 not-straight folk. I even speak to them occasionally. And I’m okay with that. I am a strong Christian not afraid to live in the world, to take risks, to be like Jesus, look at me go! I am soooo proud of myself.

Isn’t there…more? Shouldn’t there be more?

For the United States, they recently got “more.” Equal rights have been given to every couple who wants to get married, no matter what gender.
Now, as a Christian, I should be the furthest thing from okay with that, right? Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve. (Cause Steve’s MINE, bitches!) Old Testament Law. New Testament passages. The Word of God, which I claim as my blue print for life, condemns homosexuality at least 4 times, if not more. ( Leviticus 18:22 & 20:13, Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Revelations 22:15 for example.)

That is valid and important to me; I can’t ignore it.

What I also can’t ignore is the fact that many people are taking these verses out of context. For example, this article. Buzzfeed, you know I love you, but don’t do me like this! Allow me just this once to reference a large passage of Scripture that explains what I’m trying to say.

“Well then, why was the law given? It was to show people how guilty they are. But this system of law was to last only until the coming of the child to whom God’s promise was made.…is there conflict between God’s law and God’s promises? Absolutely not! If the law could have given us new life, we could have been made right with God by obeying it. Until faith in Christ was shown to us as the way of becoming right with God, we were guarded by the law. We were kept in protective custody, so to speak, until we could put our faith in the coming saviour...Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian and teacher to lead us until Christ came. So now, through faith in Christ, we are made right with God. But now that faith in Christ has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian…you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus…there is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female…you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:19, 21, 23,24,25,26 & 28.)


“Well then, what shall we say about these things? Just this: the Gentiles have been made right with God by faith, even though they were not seeking him. But the Jews who tried so hard to get right with God by keeping the law never succeeded. Why not? Because they were trying to get right with God by keeping the law and being good instead of depending on faith. They stumbled over the great rock in their path. God warned them of this in the scriptures when he said, ‘I am placing a stone in Jerusalem that causes people to stumble, and a rock that makes them fall. But anyone who believes in him will not be disappointed.’ …For Christ has accomplished the whole purpose of the law. All who believe in him are made right with God.” (Romans 9:30-33, 10:4)


“One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: ‘Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?’ Jesus replied, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbour as yourself.'” (Matthew 22:35-39)  **emphases are all mine**

Now….I am by no means a scholar in the Hebrew and Greek translations of ancient texts, but what I THINK I just read is that the Old Testament law was put in place to show us that it is IMPOSSIBLE for us to not eat bacon and not get tattoos and not cut our hair and not wear jeans with holes in them. Those things are not evil. They were just used as an example to say that even if they WERE evil, we couldn’t stay away from them. And if we can’t even follow laws of just mere outward actions, how can we control what goes on in our hearts? We can’t. Any attempts to be “good” or at least a half-decent human being can only be accomplished through giving ourselves over to THE MOST important commandment: Love. Of God, of others and yes, ourselves. (Not in a selfish way, mind you. Just in a “I don’t hate myself” kind of way.) All of the other commandments can be summed up into LOVE. If you love your neighbour, you’re not going to steal from them. You’re not going to sleep with his wife or her husband. You’re not going to lie to them or murder them. If you love God with all your heart, soul and mind, you will want to live your life in a way that brings him honour and respect and a good reputation. If you claim his name over your actions, you better make sure that they are done in a way that doesn’t conflict with the second commandment of loving others.

In other words, the Crusades were an #epicfail.

Westboro Baptist Church = #epicfail.

Pat Robertson, pastor and founder of The 700 Club = #epicfail.

These parents = #epicfail

And the conclusion of my life so far? Epic fail.

You see, I have this problem where I like people to be happy with me and I would like not to get struck with lightning by God. My love for my Father and my people has been entirely fear-based. Now, being almost 26…I’m tired of this shit. And being tired has led me on the journey to where I am now. The political and social events of the United States and Russia and more have really challenged me to shift my paradigm. And now, after months of struggle and research and guilt and confusion, I am finally ready to confess.

I want to love people of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, religions, skin colours, orientations and lifestyles. I think the abuse that the homosexual community has had to live with is heartbreaking and I want to hug all of them and whisper, “We’re not all like this.” I think that God sees all of the hatred and weeps. He still loves us a ridiculous amount regardless, but man, if I had to choose between facing him and discovering I was wrong to love homosexuals or facing him and discovering I was wrong to hate homosexuals, I would choose the former, hands down. Whether or not homosexuality is truly a sin is NOT our call to make, and I’m so glad that those decisions are not left up to me.

As for marriage equality, I support it. Just like I would support the African slaves being emancipated from their owners in the 1800s, or all women being emancipated from abusive husbands and arranged marriages and head coverings…well…someday. From a purely political standpoint, if your constitution says that all men are created equal, then that should mean EVERYONE. At the very least, all couples in a committed relationship should be allowed the same benefits as a married heterosexual does. If someone I was in a committed relationship with was in the hospital and I wasn’t allowed to see them just because there wasn’t a legal document saying that I was married and/or family to them, I would lose my shit. Plain and simple.  It’s not fair. It’s not equal. And I’m so glad steps have been taken to remedy that.

Taking this stand is tough and terrifying. But with each word that I’m writing out, each thought that I have, I have this feeling swelling up in my chest, like…excitement. Conviction. Apology. Love.  Anticipation. What also thrills me? I have said most of this to the one person I never thought I could: my mom. After all, she helped contribute to my “us versus them” thoughts about gay people. But she surprised me by agreeing with mostly everything I said. Why? Because for the last two years, she has essentially lived in a wilderness with no one around her except for draft dodgers, ex-cons, hippies, lesbians and confirmed been-out-in-the-woods-too-long weirdos. Because she’s been made to look at them like they are people. Because she’s an adulterous single-mom who made a lot of mistakes and got deported, but they treat her like a person as well. It’s brutal and beautiful…brutiful.

Before I post this and let the chips fall where they may, I have two people I want to talk about – C & B. I don’t know them too well, but I have had the privilege of seeing a glimpse of what they are about.

I met C at a kid’s camp quite a few summers ago. He was a youth pastor/worship leader. All of the kids flocked to him because he was so fun and caring, and for me, whenever he played his piano and sang, the world stopped. I have rarely heard anything so beautiful in my life, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man loved God with all his heart and was genuinely worshiping him, and using his gift to lead others into worship as well. He also shared with me personally that he felt I needed to put God first in my life, and everything else would fall into place – at a time when all of my struggles were seriously overtaking me. He had no idea that this was what I needed to hear.

I met B on a college campus in 2009. Our youth group went there for a weekend to see what it would be like to go there when we graduated. On Sunday morning, I was sitting at a breakfast table by myself, and B, a total stranger, came up to me and sat down. We started talking, and I felt totally at ease with her. We shared life stories; I was going through my immigration struggles and trying to maintain a relationship with my mom, and B’s mom had passed away from cancer recently. How did our conversation end? With B offering to pray. For ME. Another time when what I needed was given to me at the most unexpected moment.

Are they believers in Jesus? Yes.

Are they straight? Not in the least.

Does that change the way I feel towards them or mar my experience with them? See my last answer.

2013-06-28 11.49.15

22 thoughts on “It’s true. I love gay people. God made me do it.

  1. I have been struggling with similar things knowing that it is wrong, but so is lying and anger- sins that everyone commits daily, I think like all sins we need to be aware and need to repent but who am I to point at the speck in their eye when I have a log in mine. I think as Christians we need to be careful about patting ourselves on the back- I’m such a good person I have 3 friends that are gay or I went to Mexico for a week
    – what an amazing person I am! If we want the world to accept, if we are to accept those around us we must acknowledge them and treat them as equals, someone we can help BUT ALSO someone who can help us.
    Keep asking God to be able to love others as He loves them to see them as He does!

    • Thanks for your thoughts, friend. I totally get your struggle! We are very good at pointing out stuff in other people while completely ignoring our own stuff – patting ourselves on the back, like you said. I love that! Definitely joining your prayer to love and see others the way that he does. 🙂

  2. See, I know how you feel. I have heard many people say they hate homosexuals and call them gross. But I know that can’t be right, we are all sinners, and no sin is greater than the other. We are called to love one another.

    But by the same note I am concerned. It sounds like you are now all for the gay movement.
    I am also a Christian but I still do not support the gay movement. Why? Because like you said the Bible is my firm foundation. In the New Testament Jesus, Paul and the like all still make clear that we are to follow the 10 commandments out of thankfulness towards God and that certain things are still sin – murdering, lying, gossiping, homosexual sins, etc. A person can be born with a tendency to violence and other sins. This does not excuse the person’s choosing to sin by giving in to sinful desires. Yes, Jesus did fulfill many of the OT laws and commands to sacrifice etc, he is the ultimate sacrifice! But in the NT it is quite clear that there are still things God considers as sins, homosexuality included. Homosexuality is just one of the many things listed in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and other passages that will keep a person from the kingdom of God. But Gods forgiveness is just as available to the homosexual as it is to a person committing adultery, having sex outside of marriage, idol worshippers, murderers, theifs, etc. God also promises strength for victory over sin, including homosexuality, to all who believe Jesus Christ for their salvation (1 Cor 6:11; 2 Cor 5:17, Phil 4:13)

    Am I a gay-hater, homo-phobe? No. I am in contact with a few and treat them the same way I treat anyone else. I love them as Christ would love me, I treat them as Christ treated the tax collectors and other people that were looked down on in his time – not with hate, but with a Christian love. Though I can treat a homosexual with love does not mean that I have to agree with what they are doing. I have a few friends who practice heterosexual sins, such as adultery, or sex outside of marriage. I also know a pedophile. I do not agree with what they are doing/have done, but I do not hate them or judge them for it. I do not judge homosexuals/other sinners (including myself) who are stuck in sin and say ‘you are going to hell!’ – NO. I pray for them and hope that they will change their ways, knowing that God views such things as sin and will not tolerate it on judgement day, when HE judges all! Including myself.

    Just wanted to give you my view, I have struggled with the issue as well and through much prayer and research have come to this conclusion.

    • Hi there, thank you for commenting your thoughts; I really appreciate it. 🙂

      Writing this blog about this topic/issue was a very tough decision for me. I knew there was a chance I might be misunderstood or considered “fallen away” from my true faith.

      On the subject of homosexuality and the Bible and how I should respond to it, I am simply letting go. I have spent months worrying about it, crying and losing sleep and praying and being concerned that everyone I know is going to burn in hell, including myself. That may sound a little dramatic, but I am one of those people who CAN care too much to the point of hurting myself emotionally/psychologically. I had to come to a point where I could say, “Okay. I will try to love all people I come into contact with, no matter how different they are from me, or if I completely disagree with the way they live their life. It’s too stressful trying to live my life and decide whether God is keeping score or drawing lines that I am crossing with my interactions. I want to let him sort out all of that and if I come under fire as well, then I would rather it be because I loved someone I shouldn’t instead of hating someone I should have loved.” And I let go. I wrote this blog, and then closed the door on worrying about it. I am not intending to jump on any bandwagons or be “all for the gay movement”, I am just choosing to try and let Jesus shine through me as I talk to them, and let Holy Spirit work from there.

      As for the scriptures that condemn homosexuality…Well, there are also plenty of New Testament verses that say a woman should always keep her head covered and never speak in church, or if you know someone who has sinned and not confessed it, you shouldn’t even eat with that person. And none of those things are something we follow today. Is God angry about that? I don’t know. I certainly hope not. 🙂 I also happen to believe that there should be a separation of church and state, so for me, being okay with marriage equality is not a “religious” issue, it’s a “political” one. (I hate labelling things, hence the quotation marks.) If letting gay people get married contributes to the end of our society and the world, then as Christians, why are we fighting it so much as if we’re surprised it’s happening? The end times were promised and there will be many contributing factors – we know this. And when the end comes, I’m definitely going to be more concerned about where I stand with God rather than who got married to who. I am kind of selfish that way, heheh. 🙂

      Sorry for the long comment, but you deserved a decent response to what you said! I hope you are blessed today. 🙂

      • I think I double-love your brain and your understanding (and not understanding) of this matter 🙂

  3. “Whether or not homosexuality is truly a sin is NOT our call to make, and I’m so glad that those decisions are not left up to me.” —– THIS. Bottom line. Whether you’re a believer or not, spiritual or not, religious or not, it’s just none of your business. But in general, I feel like when people aren’t hurting others, then they should be free to do what they want. We all have to face up to the life we loved at some point and it’s not my place to ever judge others. What do I hate? HATE.

    • Right on, Deanna. I am so much less exhausted and confused now that I am not worrying so much about everyone else’s lives, and now looking to my own heart, making sure that its goodness is still intact. It’s a really good place to be in!

  4. This is a subject close to my heart. I have hundred’s of gay friends. I wrote confessions of a fruitfly over a year ago about this subject but I’m not as well verses in biblical things as you. I’ve read the whole bible and believe in it’s truth but I am not strong enough to make arguments as beautiful as this.

    Everything here…I agree with. ❤

    • Oh gosh, I don’t really consider myself well versed in the Bible at all – sometimes, things just come together for me when God knows I’m ready to learn something. 😉 when you read, it can have the same impact for you! And I am truly impressed that you’ve made such connections with gay people. Good for you. 🙂

  5. I came to comments with the exact words on the tips of my fingers as Deanna. I have family members who are gay. Close family members. As in my father, my cousin, and my SIL. And that’s just family. I am staunchly defensive of the gay community. What you wrote was so honest, and brave, and true, and I respect you for writing it. I know some people who are religious have trouble reconciling the two sides of this. It kind of drives me crazy, so when I see a post like this….my heart swells. Love you, girly.

    • Aww I’m so happy I gave you some heart swells and no crazies. For some people to change their minds, I think it would require them to have a family member who is gay, which is really interesting to me. Like, you can’t CHOOSE your family members, so why would anyone choose to come out and possibly be outcast? Family should be bigger than those issues. Steve and I have already decided that if any of our kids come out to us, nothing will really change. And I like that.

  6. “Brutiful.” Indeed.

    …I think we’re meant to evolve throughout our lives. We come to the full bloom of ourselves as people in our own time, and bit by bit. Even when we die, we haven’t reached “perfection.”

    Thanks for being brave enough to share this part of your journey, and for making a mark by showing another example of a Christian who sees all people as worthy of not just love, but the tangible expression of love: equal rights.

    • Yeah you’re so right about that journey, friend. And I’m sure that 10 years from now, I will be an entirely different person than I am today. In fact, I’m hoping so. People that aren’t willing to change or grow or evolve make me a little sad at the lost potential. And although I will never claim to be perfect, I’m glad that I can one of those Christians that you know exist, that leave a positive mark on your thoughts. 🙂

  7. As a person who is often in the gray areas between groups I am so touched by this. I prayed and prayed about homosexuality and faith and the only thing that came was “that’s not your concern”. So I’m happily bisexual still; I still pray, and once in a while I find people who don’t mind not being able to clearly categorize me.

  8. “And the conclusion of my life so far? Epic fail.”

    This, because this issue is one I’ve been schooled into and indoctrinated with crapola from goodness knows whose end of the judgemental stick, and I just don’t get it. I don’t know what to think and am still forming my opinions. But I know that I’m SO pleased England has introduced gay marriage as a ‘thing that’s a done thing’ and I think that as a state entity, this should absolutely be the case.

    I still get tied up in confusion about this but I think your point about being a) most concerned about my OWN behaviour, and b) LOVING, is more important than any of the rest of it. Thank you for this incredible post.

    • You’re welcome, and thank you for appreciating it so much. It was really hard and good for me to write. I still get confused about this issue sometimes, but ultimately I want to remember that the heart is what matters most. 🙂

      • Yes. I need to hang more credence on that, I think, and try to…not panic, because that’s the wrong word…get het up over the places where institutions are getting sidetracked by smokescreens around this matter, and not waste time trying to decipher whether hundreds-of-years-old writing and the human traditions which have been built up around it, is more important than, say, fighting poverty. Or helping orphans. Or tending the sick. Or doing all of those far more important things than using head-space to worry about the indecipherable.

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