bright lights, big city. halloween nights, grumpy kitty.

For the past couple of days, I have been eating fruit gummies and my own words. Both taste kind of delicious.

Last Friday, I spent a portion of my blog in mild therapy, relating how the past while has been a struggle, once again, in the job search. I wasn’t trying to complain, just be honest. And whenever I have times where I feel like I’m not being heard or I’m not good enough or I’m just plain tired of feeling the way I do — I always try to add a little note up to God afterwards. It goes something like this:

“Please do something so awesome that all the things I just said and feels I just felt result in my embarrassment. Because I know you are good and I am just being a silly child, and I would love for you to prove me right on that.”

And boy, that Father of mine, he always takes me up on an opportunity to humble me. Mere hours after I posted the blog, a girl from LUSH called me and offered me the seasonal job. I was (and am) SO. FRICKEN. EXCITED.  I get to work in a place that is all about smelling amazing, helping people, and being as quirky as you possibly can. (This is also a current working title for my self-help/autobiographical novel.)

On Monday night, I went downtown to fill out some paperwork. As I was riding the skytrain into the sunset, it hit me: this is my life for the next 2 months. I’m 26, married, commuting to work in downtown Vancouver and I have money in my bank account.

By all appearances…


When the dang heck did that happen?


Maybe you’re not aware, but — that’s okay, I like being educational! — when Journey sings, “Just a small town girl…” I’m pretty sure it’s me they’re talking about. The smallest town I’ve ever lived in featured approximately 1500 souls (go Bella Coola!) and the biggest city I’ve ever lived in before coming to the lower mainland had maybe somewhere between 50-100,000 people. And THAT was a scary learning curve.

Now I’ve gone downtown to LUSH a grand total of 3 times.

I have been lost and confused every single one of those times.

I get off the skytrain at Burrard Station, which, in my opinion, is one of the nicest stations of them all. Its foliage reminds one of a mini Garden of Eden. However, similar to that Garden, it comes with a catch: it has two exits. And it sits on a part of the gridded streetway that is NOT in a perfect tic-tac-toe style square, but on a curved bend. I don’t know why. To people who can actually figure out where they’re going, this is not a problem. To the directionally challenged such as myself, it’s an evil labyrinth.

So I developed a system and I plan to master it.
Get off the skytrain – get out of the tunnel on the right side – take the escalator and stay on the right-hand side unless you’re walking up because that’s just proper city etiquette that everyone should know, capisce? – get off the escalator and take the left side stairs. Do NOT go straight. – Exit the station. Are you on a curve? Yes? Do you see a shwarma falafel truck on your right? Yes? Then go towards that delicious smelling truck but walk past it. – walk uphill for 3ish blocks. – turn left on Robson St., or is it right? Crap. Like I said, I’ll master it. – when you’ve passed the two cheesy Canadiana trinket stores and the Cafe Crepe Express, you’ll find LUSH.


Simple, right? **smh**

Once I figured that out on Monday, I went into LUSH, met more fantastic people that I get to work with, and got some dates figured out for my training schedule. The 6 days following this weekend are gonna be cray-cray, yo. But I’m so ready to submerge myself into fresh fruit, veggies, oils, bath bombs, massage bars, perfume, deodorant, bubbles, glitter and more.


I can’t be certain, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Oompa-Loompas are involved here cause that sh*t looks good enough to eat.

Speaking of sh*t good enough to eat….


I think I already mentioned that there is a Cafe Crepe Express two doors down from my store. TWO DOORS DOWN. That’s not even enough to make a cover band, how do they expect me to walk by it every day and not go in? Or rather, stop? Since it’s an express and all you have to do is stand outside and yell your order through a window and then you watch it being made.

After I filled out my paperwork, I was starving. So two of the gals working there said I needed to go there and get….are you ready for this?…..a nutella milkshake.


The seeker in me just had to know if this was true. Cause, you know, I’ve had dreams about stuff like this before and waking up has always been a problem for my amazing night inventions.

So I casually traipsed two doors over and ordered a strawberry crepe and NuMlkShk.

$14 later (gahhh!), I bit into the crepe.

The heavens opened and I could hear angels singing.

I sipped the NuMlkShk and I’m pretty sure Satan ran and hid under a bush, it was so pure and beautiful and good.

It’s a good thing I’m buying new clothes for work cause the old ones ain’t gon’ fit no’ mo’.

But actually, in all seriousness, I will most likely stick to my 1400-calorie, 15 sit-ups and 50 jumping jacks-a-day regimen. This is currently the hardest thing to control in my life and I want to dominate it. (Commuting an hour each way will either definitely help keep me in shape from stress…or be a d-bag and do the opposite and keep me starving always.) But ya know what’ll keep me goin’?

Casual Friday.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that Casual Friday rocks. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be on a Friday, just whatever your Friday happens to be. For some, it might be wearing jeans instead of black dress pants. For others, it might be stuffing your face with all of the goodies that you’ve been withholding from yourself all week and passing out into a food coma on the skytrain.

Oh, that’s just me? Okay, cool.

Now the only tragedy that comes with this new job is the fact that I get super discounts on all the stuff, and I have no bathtub in my house with which to use all the stuff. My in-laws are going to start seeing a lot more of me…er, no wait, what I mean is that they are going to start seeing a lot less of their bathroom. They will NOT be seeing a lot more of me because I will most likely be naked during my Lushie experiments, just to clarify. Aaaand moving on. (Hey, much of the LUSH packaging tells me to get naked and I don’t want them to fire me for disobeying orders so I GOTS TO GIT NIKK-ID!)

So yeah. I’m doing pretty great. I’m thankful and happy and Lushie and silly and clean. Oooh, but I DO have one more confession to make….


I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!! I successfully brainwashed Walter into letting me put this costume on him by using manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, deception, incrementalism, and just plain sleepiness. First, I caught him napping so deep that he was snoring. I gently laid the costume on top of him, and when he stirred, I petted him right back into dreamland. Then, I gently tucked his ears into the holes. He didn’t like that as much and tried to move. But then I reached under his neck and scratched his favourite spot, and when he lifted his head up for “Moar! Moar! Moar!”  I velcroed the strap underneath him like a ninja. He gave me one slit-eyed look that said, “Fine. You win, b*tch,” and went back to sleep. I took approximately 10,000 photos of him because I know I’ll never get this chance again, and then I took the costume straight off. After all, I’m not cruel.

Isn’t he sooooooo cah-yewwwwwwwwt?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?

Aiming for “Best Mom of the Year,”

Carly xo


i don’t know any tricks, but i’m feelin 26?

Wow, what a month. I didn’t mean to take such a hiatus, but life totally gets the blame here. She took me, made me happy, gave me rest, warmed my heart, kicked me in the crotch, said sorry about that, made me laugh and sent me on my way.

I could tell many stories about all of that, but I figure the best way to not bore you to death is to use point form, complete with bold headers and cutesy pictures. Are ya ready? Vamonos!

1. Second Honeymoons Are So Worth It

We did it. We drove the crap out of that road, stayed the crap out of that castle, visited the crap out of our Calgary friends, slept the crap out of our fluffy King-sized beds I never wanted to leave, pictured the crap out of our new camera, and we honeyed. the crap. outta that moon.










2. I’m Kinda Full Of It

You see the title of the post I wrote before this one? “Aging with Grace,” I called it. Well, apparently, I need to go back and do my homework because two weeks ago, I turned one year older and I’ve been nothin’ but trouble ever since.


3. There are 6 more days until Halloween.

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Which essentially means that I only have 5 more days to change Walter’s mind about this. If you take note of the body language, he’s clearly not happy. In fact, you’d think you had truly burdened him with the weight of the world and it physically restrains him from being able to move. The only thing he can do is give you dead eyes that speak of betrayal.But since we are good parents, we’ve decided upon the art of trickery. We sprinkled this costume with catnip and let it lay among Walter’s toys and mutilated bits of furniture. It won’t be long now. The twain SHALL meet and it will be glorious.

4. Eva Sofia is one of the most precious things that has ever happened to me.

If you don’t remember her, have a look at this and read the story of how I was given the special privilege of bringing her into the world 7ish weeks ago.

This past Thanksgiving weekend, she came to see me and everything was wonderful. Mom and Dad looked pretty well rested and happy and in love with their girly. They let me take a few family photos that I am just in love with…2013-10-14 08.30.34










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My heart is officially a puddle on the floor.

5. My mom is a badass.

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Aaaaaaand this is all you need to know that.

6.  Money can make Weddings Beautiful and
Marriage Difficult.

It’s been a long, hard week, to be honest. On my wedding day 13 months ago, when everything was smiles and kisses and flowers and laughter, I didn’t know there would be weeks like this. Weeks where it feels like I’ve been looking for work forever. Weeks where it feels like I’m not the right person to live down here, where I don’t fit in, where I don’t seem to meet the standards just by being myself. (I have been blessed enough to interview with LUSH this week and get a call-back for a 2nd interview right away, but now I’m at the waiting stage and it is trying to kill me.) Weeks where Steve and I forget that we are partners, allies, in this together. Thoughts get thought, words get said, actions are made, and sometimes you worry that it can’t be fixed. Yesterday, I thought, Oh God…he’s finally had enough of me…one day, I’m going to be a lonely old woman – nope, not even with cats to surround me! – and I’m going to look back on this week and say, “Yes. That was the beginning of the end. How did I not see it?”

Ever worry that it might be ruined?

Yeah, but it’s not. Not today. Not this week, not this month and I’m banking on not this year.

And does it make you wanna cry?

Yes, and I do. And I pray and I fight and I kiss and I make-up and I fall in love again.

Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame,
Where there is a flame, someone’s bound to get burned,
But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try, try, try.

P!nk, my girl, you have created the marriage anthem and I don’t care what anyone says about that.

The truth is, there will probably always be a reason to be upset. At your partner, at life, at yourself. I have been all three this week. But it will drain your life, your joy away, and change nothing. So I am determined more than ever to do that whole thing where I stop believing the lies are true and the truth is too good to be true.

I am loved and so is he and we will carry ever on.

7. HOW IS BREAKING BAD SO AMAZING?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???????

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Like. I just. Can’t.

We are in the early stages of season 5, and I am in the early stages of having a heart attack. These characters have completely sucked us into their world — and miraculously, I have continued on through all of my internetting and NOT YET BEEN SPOILED BY HOW IT ENDS.

Like, the other day, I was at the LUSH hiring fair, and all I overheard another applicant say was, “Breaking Bad Finale,” and I interrupted him, saying, “LALALALALALALALALALALA NOT LISTENING DO NOT SAY ANOTHER WORD PLEASE.” And he was like, “Um, I’ve actually never watched the show, it’s just all my friends are talking about and I don’t know why.” And I was like,


That’s what Breaking Bad has done to me. It makes me LALALALALALA at complete strangers.

8. I Now Know Why People Make Fun Of Me For Being Mexican