How I Became a Tupperware-er (Without Really Trying)

Throughout my 26 years on this earth, I have realized that I’m really good at looking like a do-er. People could look at my “resume” of life experiences and say, “Wow. She’s quite accomplished for one so young. She must be super motivated!”

Ha!

“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.”

I am definitely door #3, except “greatness” should be replaced by “crazy random happenstance.”

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It usually starts with an innocent conversation. And then the person I’m conversing with, usually someone who’s way more of a do-er than I am, has a *LIIIIIIGHT BUUUUUULB* moment and says, “OMG! I’m totally doing this thing this weekend, and you would be PERFECT help!” Or “This life-changing event is happening next week and YOUR LIFE NEEDS A-CHANGIN’ YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME!!!”

I go home. I think about it. I make a mental list of pro’s and con’s. And, since I like being a pushover and people pleaser Yes Woman, that’s usually what I end up saying.

This happened to me a few weeks ago, in the form of a really cute Newfie mom with even cuter Newfie kids.

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She was hosting a Tupperware party. At her house. With her cute kids, ANDΒ  her Christmas cookies AND chocolate chip banana bread. With the claim that I would get free stuff, just for showing up.

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At the time, I didn’t even know what Tupperware was, but I didn’t care. The Newfie had trapped me well and good.

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This is what I was picturing the night would be like. Party? Riiiight.

Four days before the party, Steven said to me,

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Three days before the party, my sister Sarah said, “So I heard you were headed to a Tupperware Party…by the way…”

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On the same day, my mother-in-law said, “Oy, you’re goin’ to a bloomin’ Tupperware pahty, girl!”

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In the evening, as I was literally heading out the door for the party, my father-in-law made sure I knew that

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In return, I patiently reassured each and every one of my concerned family members that I would not spend any money or be roped into any schemes. I even left my purse in my car as a preventative measure.

And then shit got real.

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Did you have these as a kid? Cause I sure did! Did MY MOTHER attend a Tupperware party? *brain explodes*

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I don’t even know who this man is, but he was all over Google Images, and I can’t help but be delighted?

Maybe it was the treats, or the cute children running around, or the bawk-bawk-bawk of adorable lady hens surrounding me, or THE CHRISTMAS SALES, but suddenly I was convinced that my kitchen and I desperately needed all these things in order to be happy. Like, I’m pretty the Proverbs 31 woman used Tupperware.

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By the time the night was over, I had ignored every…single…

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I had received, run out to my car,

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and brought back my Visa, ready to give my kitchen and fridge a much-needed face lift.

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I finally decided on a easy-to-clean, easy-to-use frosting decorator, because as we all know, I need some help in that department.

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A huge-ass Hello Kitty I attempted last Spring. Enough said.

And finally, a 4-set of fridge containers that were prepared to change my world. They had an “acidity chart” ventilation system, so that you could store certain fruits and vegetables and even cheese, according to their acidity and they would last much longer. They even had raised corners, so that if any juices dribbled out of your fresh produce, it would drain down to the corner and leave your tomahtos alone.

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It costs this many monies.

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But I was convinced that Steve and I had thrown AT LEAST that many monies worth into the garbage due to fruit and veggies and cheese that crossed over to that Great Spirit in the Sky before their time. This investment would pay for itself 10 times over.

As I went to hand my order in, the Tupperware Agent looked at it and said, “Oof. I have a better idea. Wanna save some money?”

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So, the long and short of it is that I am going to host a Tupperware party. IN ONE WEEK. Through my Newfie friend’s house, because she is gracious and kind and realizes that my house is more of a…garage.

If enough friends come to my Tupperware party, I can potentially get the fridge set I need for free. I’mma just be straight up about that.

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If you come, I will hug you and serve you tea and dainties out the wazoo. But you do NOT have to buy anything. If you want, you can cash in on a couple of great sales, go home with some free stuff just for showing up, and I’ll be on my way to becoming a better cook and woman of valour. Everybody wins, and you’ll regret nothing.

Ultimately, I have learned a few things about myself.

1.) I am totally okay with having greatness crazy random happenstance thrust upon me every once in awhile.

2.) This:

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trumps this:

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every time.

And the New Year has only begun. Go me.

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6 thoughts on “How I Became a Tupperware-er (Without Really Trying)

  1. DO NOT make me the distributor of your estate when you die… I don’t want to deal with trashing all your free shit. πŸ˜€
    have fun at the tupperware party! I am not at all ashamed that I can’t be there. Lol πŸ˜€

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