Last Friday, the Button family went on the road trip of a lifetime.
We just didn’t know it at the time.
1. The Hurricane
It was a dark and rainy morning. We had the next 4 days off work, because we’re in Canada. And instead of celebrating the domination and desecration created by that Columbus guy, we eat turkey while knowing little to nothing about Sir Martin Frobisher.
We left our house around 6am, so it was still dark. For the next 3 hours, we were blindsided by driving rain, gale-force winds and nasty-ass dog breath.
The weather was actually a little scary. Our little car tried to leave the road several times.
Thankfully, Steve was the one driving.
Later, we would turn on the news radio and learn that an event called Hurricane Oho was occurring off the Pacific coast, and we were literally feeling the after-effects of it in the middle of British Columbia. Steve quickly coined it Hurricane Uh-Oh, and I quickly coined us Bill Paxton & Helen Hunt.
^^^ Dat’s us. #DriversAndSurvivors
2. The Never-Ending Ride of Burgers, Weed & Sh*t
Hear this: I love coupon day. I love opening my mail box, and seeing those shiny red papers filled with pictures of food I want to eat and money I want to save.
We brought all of our coupons for the road trip because #poor, so we basically ate burgers and potato-related foods, all 3 meals, in the span of 14 hours. Sure, we saved money, but by the end of the day when I could no longer poop, I found myself wishing they made coupons for organic salad.
Oh yeah — we were in that car for FOURTEEN HOURS. Because the freeway between Hope and Vancouver is bat-shit crazy on a good day, and we were there on a Friday. On a holiday weekend. And while the Fraser Valley has many lovely qualities…
Smelling good is not one of them.
I know they *say* marijuana hasn’t been legalized in Canada yet, but in that valley, it might as well be. Also there are cows and mushroom farms and lifted trucks that are singlehandedly putting a hole in the ozone.
Did I want to poop? Did I want to throw up? I couldn’t tell anymore.
3. The Golden Anniversary
But the reason we drove (besides turkey) was well worth it. It was the 50th anniversary of my mother-and-father-in-law.
And they didn’t know we were gonna show up.
I was a little nervous; I hadn’t seen them since we moved away a year ago, and I feel like a golden anniversary is kind of a big deal. I wanted it to be memorable.
I found this beautiful British-style teapot awhile ago, with them in mind, as well as some loose-leaf earl grey tea that could be used to fertilize Mum’s garden after they were diffused.
To me, it was meaningful on many levels.
To them, it was too.
But that wasn’t the only surprise of the night.
4. Poppy vs. The Pool
It was dark by the time we arrived at the house, and we thought Poppy should explore her new surroundings.
I didn’t see any of this happen, so this is how I understand it.
Poppy was busy sniffing the backyard by the light of the back deck, when she suddenly came upon a strange new surface. It was blue, kinda wet and level with the ground.
It was the tarp cover on the swimming pool.
She quickly realized she’d made a terrible mistake, and tried to swim her way to the sidewalk. Instead, she started sinking.
Very calmly – like Jesus, one could say – Steve reached in and pulled our Precious out of the pool just as the cover was starting to blanket her.
And since she’s smart, she remembered and avoided the special blue ground for the rest of the weekend.
5.The Guardians of the Toy Store
We’re nerds. Straight up. We collect Funkos from multiple fandom’s, and our Christmas tree looks like the entire pop culture from the 1970s-now threw up on it.
So when Steve showed me the newer, much bigger location of our favourite toy store, I nearly had a heart attack.
Ewoks on a tree bridge over the toy shelves! #UhhhhCha!
Treebeard & Gollum creepin’. #We’reTakingTheHobbitsToIsengard
Completed by the best: Groot & Rocket extending hands of friendship to yours truly. #WEAREGROOT
6. The Darla Effect
Have you read Darla Halyk, from New World Mom?
You probably should. She has amazing stories, from comparing herself to Amy Schumer to her literal, actual, text-the-Vatican miracle baby.
I had no idea, until recently, that she lived near Vancouver her whole life – up to and including the time I lived there. When I think about the coffees and laughs and sisterhood wasted, I wanna cry.
Because I got to meet with her for approximately 90 minutes before heading back north, and you guys.
We hugged upon meeting, because of course we had to. She drank out of a coffee cup the length of my forearm while we talked non-stop about writing and our pets and her kids and food and it all ended too quickly. She is the Real Deal, from her sweary-mouth to her sparkly eyes and again to her fierce love for life. I can’t wait to hang out with her again.
So, I am very thankful. I made it to my 28th birthday with little mental breakdown, I ate turkey dinner twice, laughed at YouTube videos with my sister-in-law until my stomach hurt, made great memories with friends & family, and I survived a hurricane.
But above all, I am thankful this picture exists. Because we’ve had enough of Sharknado to last a lifetime. Haven’t we earned…